Have you ever stayed in a relationship because you didn’t know how to get off the roller coaster?

Pat LaCroix did. After seven years with her first boyfriend, she finally found the courage to end the relationship. She later married, became a mother of two, and after 11 years of marriage found herself facing divorce—and the challenge of starting over. 

But Pat never gave up on love.

In this candid conversation on Light Up the Mic, Pat sits down with Kembala Evans and shares what divorce taught her about herself, the remarkable second-chance story that reconnected her with someone she’d met 15 years earlier, and how she finally discovered what true partnership felt like.

From an undeniable “aha” moment involving Oprah and a box of Wheat Thins to learning to trust again, Pat gets candid about losing yourself in a relationship, recognizing what you can—and can't—accept in a partner, and why knowing yourself may be one of the most important steps toward lasting love. 

And, what would she tell her 18-year-old self about finding love?

“Play the field.”

It’s an episode about love, divorce, healing, self-discovery, second chances—and being willing to learn from the old story to craft a new and better love story.

In Part 2: Pat answers real questions from divorcees who want to know more.

7 Key Takeaways:

1. Know when to get off the roller coaster. Loyalty isn't a reason to stay in a relationship that isn't right for you.
2. Don't lose yourself in love. A healthy relationship leaves room for your own identity, interests, and independence. 
3. Reflect before you repeat. Pat reflected on what was missing from her first marriage and identified what she needed—and what wasn't negotiable—the next time around. 
4. Partnership is more than being together. Pat found her love, teammate and “partner in crime”— finally, someone she could share life with fully. 
5. Know what you can and can't accept. Nobody is perfect. Know your standards—and your deal breakers.
6. Stay open to love. Pat didn’t give up on marriage after divorce, She kept the faith—and found love again. 
7. Don't rush to find “the one.” Pat's three-word advice to her 18-year-old self: “Play the field.” Meet people, experience life, and learn who you are before making a serious commitment.

Resources:

• CDC on Marriages and Divorces
• Women More Likely Than Men to Initiate Divorces

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